Word of warning: This is mainly a vent/complaining/angry. I'm just basically venting to make myself feel a little bit better.
So we finally called things off.
Although we were on the brink of it on Saturday, we 'made up' as we always do, but today I just realised this is stupid, and I should stop pushing something that obviously isn't working, and said so.
Even though I was the instigator of this, I have to literally force myself not to go and try make things better.
Anyway, I'm giving myself tonight to feel sorry for myself - and tomorrow is a new day. It's not worth wasting time and feelings worrying over something that never was.